The Umpire Strikes Back by Ron Luciano & David Fisher

Author:Ron Luciano & David Fisher [Luciano, Ron & Fisher, David]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781637583791
Publisher: Permuted Press, LLC
Published: 2022-05-17T07:00:00+00:00

7

FIELDERS

OR The Glove Is Quicker than the Eye

One label that could never accurately be applied to me, even during my childhood, was baseball’s traditional scouting report, “good field, no hit.” I couldn’t field any better than I could hit. My fielding ability gave an entirely new meaning to the phrase “Watch out!”

But because I was one of the biggest kids in the neighborhood, as well as a close personal friend of the Barbaras, I was often picked to captain one team. To determine who had first pick of the players, one captain would toss a bat to the other, who would attempt to catch it as close to the knob at the end of the handle as possible. Then the two captains would grasp and regrasp the bat in turn, using either the entire hand or just the thumb and forefinger, until one of them was left holding it by the knob. Then he would either have to twirl it over his head three times or hold it while the other captain tried to kick it loose. If he held it he got first pick; if he dropped it the other captain had first pick. It was a very elaborate ceremony.

My problem was catching the bat.

In fact, I should have been a good fielder. My Uncle Nick taught me when I was very young that the most important aspect of fielding is to get your body in front of the ball. And I had more body than anyone else.

Finally, because of my great speed and range, they found the proper position for me. Catcher. It was while I was crouched behind home plate, ducking tipped Spaldings, that I first learned to appreciate catchers.

A catcher’s accoutrements—his iron mask, shin guards and chest protector—are known as the “tools of ignorance.” The reason for this is obvious. Any man who would willingly allow Nolan Ryan to throw a baseball at him is not outstandingly intelligent. Basically a catcher is a crouching target. Catchers are the most beat-up, bruised, broken, knurled players on the field. They are the only athletes I know who can stick their hands out straight and point behind them. And, unlike other fielders, who simply have to catch the ball when it is hit near them, catchers have to run the defense. They must select the pitch and its location and make sure every fielder is in the proper position. They have to keep everyone alert, and they have to psychologically lead the pitcher through the game as carefully as they would lead a Luciano through a china shop.

I firmly believe catchers are universally underrated and underpaid. Most of them are great humanitarians. Brave men who do a magnificent job under torturous conditions.

Of course, catchers are the only thing between the umpire and the pitched baseball.

The first lesson I learned in baseball was to be nice to catchers, for my own safety. Like most umpires I tended to think of catchers as brick walls, but often smarter.

Before Spike Briggs offered

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